Lost At Sea: Former Marine Academy Students Bittersweet Discovery Of Self In Higher Education

Finding the Perfect College Fit Can Be a Whirlwind Romance That Eventually Unravels

For Jack, a young man from a conservative household, finding California State University Maritime Academy seemed tailor-made. The strong oceanography program and hands-on experience checked all the right boxes. However, as he navigated his freshman year, it became clear that this dream college was not the right fit for him.

Everything seemed magical at first – Jack waking up in uniform, taking water samples, and excelling in his studies. But beneath the surface, tensions were brewing. Jack struggled to connect with his classmates, often feeling like an outsider looking in. Despite efforts to build relationships through volunteering, joining clubs, and putting himself out there, he just didn’t fit in.

The problem wasn’t the college itself but rather a clash between his conservative values and the liberal leaning of his peer group. The school had a gay-straight alliance club, which Jack attended, but it seemed like a drop in the bucket compared to the dominant culture of rowdy students engaging in pranks and games. A cultural divide between my son’s values and those of his peers created an insurmountable obstacle.

This experience was a hard lesson for both Jack and me. I should have listened more closely to his concerns, while he struggled to find his place in a community that didn’t seem to value his unique perspective. The school itself was not bigoted, but the cultural landscape created an unbridgeable gap.

In the end, Jack made the difficult decision to leave and enroll at a local community college, where he can focus on his general education requirements without feeling like an outsider. As we navigate this new chapter together, I’ve come to understand that finding the right college is not just about academics – it’s about fit, culture, and belonging.

To high school students and their parents, I offer this cautionary tale: don’t settle for a perfect academic program if it doesn’t feel like home. Take time to examine the social life on campus, the vibe of the surrounding city, and the entire cultural landscape. Look beyond the surface level and consider what your child will be in for on campus. For Jack, that means exploring new horizons, but not necessarily attending a four-year college. As a mother, I can only hope that he finds his tribe, but more importantly, that he finds himself – and that’s what truly matters.